Confessions of a Hopeful

Someone once told me, in order to write well, you have to write what you know. Here's what I know:

The feeling of hope is the same feeling as standing at the edge of a cliff.

The view beneath is exhilarating. However, one wrong move could plummet you to your demise - never seeing that view again. Hoping is like riding a roller coaster. You fasten and prepare yourself for the sharp turns and the scary plunges, but when you are seconds away from turning or falling, your mind betrays the entirety of your preparation and leaves you there, dumbstruck and wanting to slow down. But never wanting to stop.

A break up is never easy.

You have to go through numerous phases and cycles to finally tell yourself that you are ready to see other people again - to give love a chance to bud once more. But it's never easy, perhaps, never will be.

You tell yourself that that's it. You say you've had enough. But deep inside, somewhere inside of you, you know that there's a voice telling you that one of these days you will find someone amazing that won't get enough of, you will hang on to every word they say and every good night will leave a promise of tomorrow lingering in the air. The feeling like you're always on the same page and you can finish each other's sentences. Then you get the impression or assumption, that this person may be the person you have waited all of your life. And that's when you realize that this person is too good to be true that everything seems right that it feels wrong. 

Thoughts of that person being too good for you plague your every thought that even though that person has shown the same level of interest, you cower inside your shell and wish for everything to just end.The butterflies fluttering in your stomach are nothing compared to the immense feeling that you may faint from the whirling emotions inside of you, destroying everything in its path. It may even tore you asunder. 

Yet.

You crave for the feeling of wanting someone to see that so bad and just staring at that person and living in the moment that both of you are breathing the same air. 

I am writing this blog with this kind of apprehension. Tomorrow I will meet this person and from there a new chapter of my life will being. It may or may not work out, but that fact remains to be experienced by me, by us. No matter what the outcome of this risk may be, I will be happy that I am still capable of experiencing this type of emotion. 

I am scared as hell but I want to believe that if it's for me, the universe will conspire for it to happen.